Sunday, October 18, 2015

15 Things Mature Men Don't Do In Relationships

A couple of weeks ago I came across a text entitled "15 Things Mature Women Don't Do in Relationships".  Then I searched for a text about what mature MEN don't do in relationships.  What a surprise! Found none.

As if only women needed some advicing on this...   Men are always mature, know everything, need no preaching, no training...

Sorry I disagree!

Here goes a maturity manual for dudes.

15 Things Mature Men Don't Do in Relationships

1.  They  understand that women are human beings.
Mature men know that women and men are equally human  and enjoy equal worth and equal rights in whatsoever field and relationship.
This should be common sense.  Nevertheless, sexism is still alive and interferes in every human relationship, affective most of all.  Stories on violence against women - which often hit the headlines - prove this.
How can a couple develop trust and love if one of the partners thinks the other inferior and worthless?

2.  They don't set an idealised, stereotyped image of the right woman.
Immature men often create an ideal of woman, which their partners-to-be are expected to fulfil. Many relationships set apart because of deluded and unrealistic expectations.  Real life women are human beings, with qualities and faults.

3.  They don't judge women only on their looks or on what their buddies think of them.
Mature men seek companionship, someone to talk to and spend life with.  There's much more than good looks and smart garb to hold a couple together.

4.  They don't behave as apes.
Talking and laughing aloud, moving abruptly, sitting with legs wide open, invading other people's space, scolding the partner, especially in public, mistaking roughness for manliness:  c'mon, we're not on jungle!

5.  They don't treat women as toys.
That means, they don't start a relationship unless they are available and open for it.  They don't hang around with a woman to disappear next.  Least of all, they don't hang around with several women.
Also, this means they understand thay women have feelings which must be known, understood and respected.  Mature men don't expect women to behave as it pleases them, or how they believe they would in the same situation.  Mature men neither treat women's reaction to a situation or behaviour that annoys them as overreaction.

6.  They treat every women right, no matter who and where she is, and how she looks.  This means courtesy to workmates, relatives, not only to their love interests.

7.  They don't see their partners as secondary to their friends.

8.  They don't let their buddies rule their lives.
Some guys act as if they were still at the college's brotherhood, which matters more than their partners and whose word has to be taken seriously.  Certain men give up thinking for themselves, knowing how they really feel, to live on their circle of friends choices.

9.  They don't intend to rule nor patronise women.
They see women as their equals, not as the weaker or the less sensible, who ought to be ruled or taught to behave as it pleases them.

10.  They don't take confrontation as offensive.
Confrontations are normal in relationships;  mature men listen to their partners and are open to carefully consider them.  They don't feel the need of winning every argument.
They don't take women's complaints or non-conformity to a given situation as unreasonable as a starting point.  They try to put themselves on their shoes.

11.  They don't refrain from recognising they're wrong, apologising and changing their minds.
Immature men assume that women are always wrong as a starting point, so they refuse to ration otherwise.  Or they believe that changing their minds or behaviour means weakness.

12.  They don't scold nor raise their tune to address to the partner, not even when there's a dispute between them.

13.  They never attack their partner either physically or emotionally.
Mature men are strong in character.  If they believe themselves right or treated unfairly, they simply stand to their ground and make no fuss.

14.  They focus on the partner's qualities, not on their flaws.
They don't give up a woman just because she's said and done something they disapprove.  First, they ask her about her reasons and are open to understand how she feels.

15.  They don't feel insecure about their partners' triumphs.
Sexism rules that men must be superior to women in every field; that men ought to be wealthier and smarter than their partner, otherwise they are losers.
Such standards are long ago outcome.  Mature men know this and behave accordingly to such knowledge.